There are numerous studies that relate the absence of the father in the educational life of the children with a greater risk of remaining without studying or working for long periods, as well as with higher rates of violence, crime, addictions and transgressions of the law. So much so, that in the United States 70% of delinquents, homicides and juvenile rapists grew up without a father.
Llad Phillips and William Comanor, economists from the University of California, based on the report carried out annually by the Center for Human Resources (Ohio State University), following more than 15,000 adolescents, found an important statistical association between the absence of the father and youth crime/violence: the risk of criminal activity in adolescence doubles for boys raised without a father figure. In the case of an absent mother, the impact of this variable is almost null. On the other hand, West and Konner, two anthropologists, found that cultures with greater father involvement in raising children are less violent.
Why so much responsibility on the shoulders of the father? What is this about? Mainly because the father is essential in the development of the social skills of the children, in self-knowledge and security (the beginning of the development of initial self-esteem), self-control (ability to control impulses, the ability to postpone the gratification, to resist the impulse to act to gratify oneself at a certain moment) and empathy (register and take into account the feelings of other people), being the best predictor of empathy in adults having had a father involved, since it gives us the possibility of having a good record of the suffering of the other, thus inhibiting aggression. As Shirley Moore of the University of Illinois puts it, “Children of loving parents tend to incorporate parental values, such as consideration and fairness in interpersonal relationships, into their own lifestyle.”
Obviously, what has been stated so far is not decisive, but it is statistically probable. This is where human freedom enters and the possibility of carrying out acts outside the law despite having a father or vice versa. In any case, I believe that we should invite ourselves to reflect on our role as parents. We understand that our children are free and that they may make the wrong choice, but it is up to us to minimize the possibilities. And how do we do this? Involving ourselves in the lives of our children (that is, my whole person, not just my property), spending time with them playing or just being, getting to know them and making an effort for them to get to know us, establishing limits in an environment of kind demand, you will help to postpone gratification and make an effort every day in small things: like making the bed, helping others, doing what you should do well. Also, and above all, we must be available, available to listen, accompany and, only sometimes, available to give instructions.
In this way, the presence of a father will be the greatest predictor of a safe, empathetic and responsible son for his actions.
*Professor of Family Ethics, Institute of Family Sciences of the Austral University.
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