The psychoanalyst Lucian Lutereau analyzed from the “last words” of the rugby players in the trial for the crime of Fernando Baez Sosa, parenting in today’s society. “Blaming the parents of rugby players is something that does not contribute to the situation. We have to propose a self-regulating and self-improving upbringing,” he said in Fontevecchia modefor net tv Y RadioProfile (FM 101.9).
It is in the 20th century that the concept of youth and adolescence is built. That theme that has to do with calling adolescents “boys” resonates with me, and the fact that if one goes back to the society of our great-grandparents, the category of young and adolescent did not exist. Did childhood lengthen in the 21st century? Do these teenagers have childish reasoning?
Undoubtedly, it is a very specific point that you make, it is the underlying question. For some time now, what we have been corroborating collectively is that adolescence is no longer a time of passage to adulthood and tended to become prolonged.
There are even authors who speak of a “third adolescence”, which sometimes reaches 30 yearsand very specific problems arise, such as what happens with responsibility or if certain acts can be committed for which they later have.
The closing testimonies of this trial are very impressive, because there is a distance between who can say “I apologize” and who can say “I regret it”, but also who says “I would like to go back in time”. The point at which there is something irreversible in an act that you can’t go back. We are talking about how to continue, how to live after this.
For a psychiatrist expert, the rugbiers’ statements were “more of a mockery than a regret”
Sometimes it is an argument from the children, when the children say “I’m not going to do it anymore” to apologize to their parents, it is an intention to annul what happened, a “let’s pretend this didn’t happen”, or the ” I swear”, saying that something will not happen again, hoping that this works as a cancellation of what did happen.
The tragedy of this episode is that the underlying question will be what will happen with the sentenceto the extent that the exemplary nature of a judgment is also being able to produce a responsible subject, someone who can answer, not only for what he did, but based on what he did, who can become the subject of an act that he did not commit. they can appropriate
At the same time, I think that in these days public opinion has proliferated perhaps a little hastily, qualification with respect to these guys in the sense of talking about psychopaths and pervertsI think we have to be extremely careful, as none of us have the means to make such an assessment.
The turn of Máximo Thomsen: from ‘Machu’, the immutable leader “of the pack”, a cry in the final argument
Is there any reflection from psychology and philosophy that you have to do on this issue that the bodies of adolescents are already adults, but for different reasons childhood is prolonged?
Yes, and that has to do with a cultural change also in the parenting modes. Let’s say, 100 years ago, as you said in your initial reflection, parents often did not take their children under the first name, they did not prefer them as children. Today we are in a very gratifying transition model, where the child must always be satisfied, and it is in fact convergent with economic analysis.
We know that advertisers considering today that the average consumer is a five-year-old child, and even when that person is 50 years old, you have to talk to them like a five-year-old, because their desire is going to be imperative and they are going to say “what I love you”.
Of course, this attempts from the point of view of the physical constitution for the construction of the ethical subject, of someone who can resolve a conflict, who is at a crossroads regarding which he has to take a position. I am interested in thinking about infantilization of the viewer Because at this point we generate a new crack, and it seems to me that, as in all tragedy, there is neither one side nor the other, it is the tension.
From that point I live it not only as a professional, but also as a father. I talked a lot with my children these days about this situation, since they are informed through social networks, they can see fragments, and the difficulty of transmitting ourselves as a community, we can undoubtedly feel the pain that Fernando’s parents feel.
Trial for Báez Sosa: Thomsen’s crying and the rugby players’ apologies “for everything caused”
If the culture was leading us to not have to generate rigors to the children, is there something in education that should be reconsidered in this sense? Does a certain degree of adversity temper the spirit or are they conservative ideas?
The idea of Freud is that the child’s narcissism is a projection of the parent’s narcissism, so the question there is what happens with the narcissism of the parents. At a time when the satisfaction of the child became an instance of validation for the parents, a happy son is the one who shows me that I was a good father.
So, the inks do not remind about the child and his frustration, but about the need that the adult has to see the child always gratified in order to feel like a good father. We are confusing, and that is why I think we are also in a transitional instance, the idea that we have to give the child love, we have to give him what he needs, forgetting that many times what we give is a projection and it is not what objective and really a child needs.
How does fatherhood change the male brain?
This projection was revealing that we confused what is the concrete sense of helping the growth of what is a narcissistic reinforcement. The narcissistic reinforcement of children in recent years is coming out without a doubt children who are often the age of a teenager but are still children and wait for the other to respond.
And when they have to give explanations, what they say is “I didn’t want to”, the intention of the speech works in a very specific framework, which is that of privacy for public persons, as happens with a teenager who reaches the age of majority. . So the question is how do we prepare children and young people so that they can answer for their actions regardless of their intentions.
We believe in the domestic logic that sometimes it is enough to say “noor wanted, it was not my intention” and that is where we have a collective tear, which generates this type of circumstance.
The last plea and a chain of prayer: how rugby players live before the verdict
Going back to the original cause, before they reached adolescents, in the education of boys throughout the 20th century was there a tendency towards permissiveness? Are there capacities that require confrontation with some degree of restriction, limitation and a certain share of pain? Or is this a conservative look?
As I said before, throughout the last 50 years of the 20th century, it went from a disciplinary parenting model to a rewarding model. Today we can ask ourselves if it is necessary to return to a disciplinary model that found the limitations in punishment. I think that we are going towards an overcoming instance, when we talk about boys discovering the limits they have to discover limitations in a broad sense, not that a other the limits, because what frustrates us is reality.
When you asked me about the share of suffering, sooner or later the children suffer, the problem is that one remains in a model of harsh child rearing where, for example, when the child is anguished, the father becomes distressed and then wants to prevent the son is distressed so as not to be distressed himself, which is extremely problematic.
More than limits and punishments, I believe that what is at stake in current upbringing is the self-regulationa person who regulates himself, who is autonomous, is not the one who is going to live according to a disciplinary model.
Báez Sosa case: Emilia Pertossi, sister of one of the defendants, denounced threats against her
The great problem of this prolonged absence is in physical childhood, which does not come to be fully constituted, which is the super me. In narcissistic disorders it is very common that this internal law is not there, and therefore immediate satisfaction is sought, the other is taken as an instrument, an other is no longer recognized in the other, and one arrives, for example, to an instance of beating without thinking that in the other there is a other.
Returning to what was discussed at the beginning, one of the most controversial elements of the trial of the rugby players is when the parents of those accused of murdering Fernando Báez Sosa considered the suffering they have versus the suffering of the parents of the murdered. Do they feel like they were lousy parents and are taking the penalty?
That is a very deep question. I think that in this time of failing opinions, where all kinds of hasty diagnoses were made about the rugby players, many anticipated judgments were also made regarding the parents. I think that blaming the parents at this point is something that does not help.
To say that the parents of the rugby players were bad parents is, what is called in psychoanalysis, a projective identification reaction, that is, “the parents of those children failed, I have nothing to do with it, I am on the side of the good parents”. But there is a world that often exceeds parental upbringing.
Baez Sosa Case | From two years to life: the possible sentences that the defendants could face
It seems to me that it is very important at this moment, regardless of the actual people, that as parents we think that our children can be involved, because of the world we live in and because parenting exceeds us. Boys today spend relative time with their parents. and, at the same time, there is a technological world that exceeds us.
At this point, it seems to me that thinking about the issue with complexity is doing it from a point of view that does not go one way or the other, and that thinks of support structures for the transmission of values, that are re-installed as a collective problem, not only of this particular instance.
We have to reconsider a self-regulating upbringing, with an overcoming instance that we are still not finding, and this shows the progress of the capitalist world where parents are less and less necessary. Capitalism does not need parents as nurturing agents.
MVB JL
You may also like
