Our inner child stores memories, emotions and pain as we have experienced it when we were children.
In general, we record only those things that have seemed really important to us, whether they are positive or negative. However, there are unresolved feelings and emotions forgotten there, in our non-conscious mind, and which are the ones that respond to daily stimuli.
A person told me a few days ago about a conversation with her partner, she told me that when her boyfriend arrived late, her feeling was that of a girl waiting for her father to arrive. She therefore began to get frustrated, angry and sad.
When she told me about this situation, I told her: “Have you seen how your mind let you know where that emotion comes from? Possibly it is what you felt when you were little, and someone today, in your adulthood, evokes the same emotion, the truth is that since that old emotion is saved, not worked on, it appears when stimulated by your current partner.
When you observe the situation as an adult, you can realize that the reaction could have been different. However, at the time, it came as a wave ready to be surfed.
Our parents are role models. From them we learn how to love, how to relate when we are adults, and we even learn to be parents through what they have or have not done.
When we were little, our minds put together beliefs and emotions, which today are the ones that appear when interacting in our adult lives. We may even have formed beliefs about how we are, how we should have been, and everything based on the emotions we have felt. If they expected something from us, that is the way in which we will act, waiting for the approval of other people.
Think of a time when someone said something about you that caused an emotional reaction. Made you feel bad, or made you angry, experienced an uncomfortable bodily reaction as a result of what you have been told.
Ask yourself: why do I think he is right? You may rationally know that the other person is wrong, yet you had a negative reaction in response. This is because part of you (your inner child) believes that the person is right. It is possible that in your childhood you have received a message: you are useless, you are not enough, and that even though you have grown and advanced in your adult life, that voice continues to have an effect.
Who is leading in that case? Your adult or your child?
Thich Nhat Hanh said: “If you look closely at the palm of your hand, you will see your parents and all the generations of your ancestors. All of them are alive right now. Each one is present in your body. You are the next of each one of them”
Draw your tree, know where you come from, try to remember. It serves to know who you are.
by Paula Cabalen
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